The first outfit I've bought Jesse Blue since his arrival—first size and it still doesn't fit! | Pumping the booby juice with the Medela Swing pump

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I've talked alot about baby #2's rather dramatic entrance into this world, but I haven't yet had the chance to actually talk about him and how we've adjusted as a new family unit. His name is Jesse Blue—Blue is a middle name but I actually like to use it as a sort of double-barrel first name. I'll probably refer to him as either Jesse Blue or baby Blue on the blog and though some might see it as fairly unusual, Mr J and I absolutely love his name.

Little J is already so different to A at only 10 days old; he has a much calmer temperament already. Though we have had a couple of nights of feeding constantly and not wanting to leave my side, I think that's partly been to do with him being too cold (how on earth do you dress a newborn in Summer!). Last night, he slept entirely in his own bed only waking twice for feeds, something I'm sure didn't happen with Archie for months! During the day, he's been awake more & more and is generally very contented; sometimes we'll put him in his Poco Baby hammock (which he loves!) and forget he's even there until he starts gurgling. He's definitely settling into the family well and I'm hoping with age he'll become the relaxed to his brother's overexcited!

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When pregnant with baby #2, I found all of the memories of having a newborn came flooding back, mostly the negative. Of course, having a baby is by far the most fantastic experience in the world, but there's also the hard, sleepless nights and the constant worrying to contend with, and that's without the endless searching on Dr. Google. When I thought about baby Blue joining us, I tried to prepare myself for all those things happening, but somehow they haven't.

Though the nights have been bumpy (some worse than others), I don't feel as half-dead as I was with little A and though I love this little sausage just as much, I don't worry about what could happen and I don't jump at every odd sound he makes and I don't think I've asked Dr. Google one single thing.. yet. Dare I say it, but things this time round actually feel somewhat easier and I keep asking myself is that because I'm now officially a practiced Mother or is baby Blue a 'good' baby? I'm not sure.

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& on that subject, our main concern hasn't been little J, but little A—Archie seems to have really struggled with the change; he's been running at 100mph whilst not sleeping particularly great, he's been alot naughtier than usual, and though he loves and adores his baby brother, he's finding it hard to adjust to a new way of life. I feel so, so guilty that I can't be the exact same Mother I was before and my heart breaks when he asks for Mummy when I just can't go to him if I'm feeding or dealing with the baby.

I'm trying to be as patient as I can with him because I know this is probably more life-changing for him than anyone else and amidst the confusion, he's just an over-excited little boy who has a new little friend that he just wants to smother with kisses and cuddles (but is a little too rough) and whose had his normality and routine turned upside down. Once Mr J returns to work and we find a new kind-of normal, I know he'll be absolutely fine and that it will just take time to adjust.

Newborn cuddles w/ Nanny & Gra'dad

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I'm so, so delighted that I've been able to breastfeed with little J as well as I started off with Archie; after giving up so soon with A and seriously regretting my decision, this time round I am so determined to exclusively breastfeed for as long as possible and it's already been much easier.

Hindsight is an absolutely wonderful gift with the second-born, and I am already so much more confident with nursing (getting my boobs out this time doesn't bother me at all—there's a baby that needs feeding!) and I do not miss the slog of bottle-making and am quite happy to put it off for as long as possible. Of course, there's the downside of needing to be near him constantly but with the help of Medela, I'm going to be able to at least pump when I can and keep some back-up booby juice, y'know, just in case there may be a wild Mummy's night out..

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Of course, we're living in our newborn bubble right now; Mr J is still off work and honestly, I'm petrified at the thought of looking after two on my own (especially as he works lates sometimes; how on earth do I look after a newborn and bathe and put a toddler to bed!? Tips, please!). I know there will be difficult days, really difficult, but I also know this first year will fly by and I may not experience another first year again. *sobs* Also, little J absolutely detests having baths; so much so it takes me forever to calm him down and he won't even accept the boob as comfort. It's killing me to see him so upset and I just don't know how to fix it, so if anyone else has had a similar issue, I'd love to know how you remedied it!

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