10 Things That Will Undoubtedly Happen on Your Family Staycation
As a family, we tend to holiday alot in England, usually around Devon or Cornwall. I've lost count of the number of coastal getaways we've had over the years so I like to think I'm somewhat of an expert on the matter. If you're thinking of taking a staycation, I'll let you in on a number of things that will undoubtedly happen to us all, seasoned holidaymaker or not.
A 2 hour journey to your destination will take at least of 5 hours.
Lorry spillage? 7 car pile-up? You can guarantee you'll experience both and end up stuck in stand-still traffic on the day you're due to travel (cue lots of weeing on the side of the motorway with an audience of hundreds). On the bright side, you'll drive home through a clear path and be able to witness the holiday-goers stuck on the other side. This is your chance to clap your hands & exclaim "Glad that's not us!" in glee.
You'll stop at the services.
Does anyone else feel as if their holiday hasn't really begun without a quick stop at the services? And whilst there, you'll quite happily pay £5.50 for a Chicken Royale and £3.25 for a bottle of Pepsi because 'hey, you're on holiday'.
Something in the caravan won't work.
You arrive, and are pleasantly surprised by the clean, modern abode you've snagged yourself (they even threw in a couple of plastic chairs and a table, swanky!). Then a few days in, when the rain hits at 3am you realise the heating doesn't work and the microwave will only heat up your sausage rolls if you hit it 3 times and clap to the theme tune of FRIENDS.
It will rain.
On a scale of bone-dry to shit, we're soaked, you can guarantee that at some point, the heavens will open.
You realise you've only packed 1 pair of jeans but 6 pairs of flip-flops.
And when it does rain, and you realise it's likely the rain will continue, you'll end up wearing the same pair of jeans and buying new shoes because you only came prepared for warm weather ("It's August, dear boyfriend, there's no way I'll need to pack a coat!").
There's Fish & Chips.. EVERYWHERE.
"What shall we have for lunch, guys? There's a few places around here. Well, there's fish & chips over there, how about some shellfish? Cockles? Squid? No, Dad, we don't eat pasta when we're visiting the coast."
You end up buying another bucket & spade.
Because you left last years set at home, and the years before that, and the years before that.
You'll walk 4 miles to the sea.
Have a little paddle, fasten the top button of your duffle coat, pull your hat down around your ears and return back to the shops.
Be prepared to shield your kids eyes..
from the endless number of jelly boobs and wonky willy's you'll come across (I'm talking novelty souvenir sweets).
And be prepared to share your ice-cream..
because even though you bought the toddler exactly the same thing, they will want yours.. As well as their own.
But most of all, have a wonderful British seaside holiday! xo
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